February 08, 2006

...

I hate my fucking family...
I hate my fucking self...
*pause*
*looks up at the sky*
AND I FUCKING HATE YOU, TOO!!!!
Kill me... Kill me, now... Please, kill me, kill me now, kill me, kill me now, just do it, just kill me now, just kill me, just KILL ME.
Why do you hate me, why, huh, why do you, why do you, why, why do you hate me, you hate me, you hate me, hate me, hate me, hate me, why, why do you, why do you, why do you, why do you hate, why do you hate me, why, why do you HATE ME?!
What did I do, huh, what did I do, what did I do, what did I, what did I, what did I, what, what, what, what did, what did I do, what did I do, huh, huh, huh, what did I do, what did I do, what did I, what did I DO?!
You needed someone to hate...
Why do you laugh at me, huh, huh, huh, why, why do you, why do you laugh, you laugh, you laugh, you laugh, you laugh, you laugh in my face, my face, my face, my face, my face, my ugly scarred and horrible face, you make me want to cut up my face, my face, my face, why do you laugh, why, why, why do you, why do you laugh, why do you do it, you laugh, you laugh at me, you laugh at my face, you do, you laugh, why, why do you laugh at me, why do you laugh, why, why do you do it, why do you laugh at me, why do you laugh at me, why do you laugh at me, why do you LAUGH?!
You don't care...
You don't care...
You never cared...
You don't even care...
You never even cared...
You can't even pretend to care...
*picks up scissors*
This is why you don't care...
Here is proof you don't care...

1 Comments:

Blogger humboldtdave said...

Wow - even if He DID care, how could he get a word in edgewise?

What if God is real and you DID have a relationship with him - imagine just for a moment that He exists, created the world (hence you too) and actively interacts with the world even now. Why would He want to interact with someone who has such an impassioned grudge against Him?

Maybe you don't WANT Him to care - because if you did, he might...and how would THAT fuck up your carefully crafted and acted out image?

Try this on - you've thought about suicide time and again...even dabbled in it a few times...ever succeeded? No? Think that's a mistake or a coincidence? Or maybe it's more of an act...an act that is stifling your creativity as it might apply to actually helping this world you were born into rather than bitching about it and pretending that nobody cares about anybody and that the world ...and GOD... revolves and evolves around you. If that was the case it would look like the suicidal world and the hell world and the pergatory world of "What Dreams May Come".

But it doesn't. There's sunshine and rain to feed the plants and trees...for the animals to eat..for us to eat. There's a plethora of flowers. There's people falling in love all over this planet dude - daily. There's people reaching out to others who're down...like this.

Become a part of THAT world - let's see what kind of poetry you could muster up around the topic of beauty or compassion.

You SEEM to believe in God or why would you point to the sky and ask "Why?" You might as well be asking "why me?" - when you might instead ask "what can I do to help?"

If there is someone or someones who mistreat you or neglect you or otherwise poison the world we live in - show them the fuck up and don't let their shit get you down. You're better than that - so prove it to them - by living with greater maturity than them, dishing out greater wisdom, caring more, loving more, sharing more, teaching more, interacting more with strangers who could use a smile once in awhile.

Give it a try - maybe the man upstairs'll surprise you some day and come pay you a visit and awestrike your heartstrings and boost your everything like a supernova jumpstarting a Buick. Maybe...

Maybe not - even so, you'll be feeling alot better than you did when you wrote this post - and how can that be bad?

Better days to ya dude, better days.

5/14/2006 07:28:00 AM  

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